nitropowered | bakugo katsuki ★ ic inbox ★ etraya

You are the one with the exploding hands, yes?

[It's a message that comes in quite unextraordinary, on a normal day, but it's something she has worked herself up to do for longer than probably necessary. For many reasons, really, but... guilt is more likely one of the most prevailing of factors.]

Yeah, you could put it that way. And you're the little girl with the plush?

[Katsuki's voice is rough and hoarse as always, and he sounds a little wary, almost. Like he's pretty sure that she's still pissed at him, and he can't entirely blame her.]

I am.

[Wariness goes both ways, but...

But this is important, she thinks. It is what she's supposed to do, whether or not it actually makes her feel better.]

I am sorry. For hurting you.

... I hurt... people easily when I'm angry or scared.

[ Izuku was told by a very reliable and experienced* source that he should be proactive and reciprocate when it comes to dates. Or not-dates, or whatever that picnic was. It's been a while since Halloween (also not-a-date) when they sat close on the couch in each others' arms (medically necessary). If there is even a sliver of a chance that Katsuki might be interested in him in that way, Izuku would be a terrible rival-friend-thing if he didn't give as much as he got.

He sits with his phone in both his shaking hands staring at the blank screen. They spend time together already, but this needs to be something special. How the heck does he do this?? ]

~~if it's OK with you~~

[ No, no, no... That's not how he talks to him anymore. That's how he talks when he's nervous in an unfamiliar social situation, raising politeness like a shield. Katsuki is closer to him than that. After erasing his unfinished text three more times, he finally settles on: ]

do you want to go to the arcade with me? it's been forever since we played games together.

[ ...He forgets to say that he's open to this being a real date. Crap!

*citation needed ]

[Ever since his realization back in October, Katsuki's been...a little more distant with the other boy. Keeping his distance, rather, because he's not sure how to go about parsing those feelings or sharing them with Izuku, and he's got no friends here close enough to talk to about it. Last thing he's going to do is go on the network or something looking for advice about what to do when you have all these inappropriate feelings for the guy you spent years bullying.

The message about the arcade is different, because Izuku is usually pretty good about minding Katsuki's need for space, or at least he has been recently. For a good few moments, Katsuki's not sure what to make of it.]

you asking me on a date or something?

[ He drops his phone.

More accurately, he fumbles it and spends several seconds juggling it to safety until it's lying still in his hands again. Izuku hardly drops things. He can get nervous, but he's not clumsy. He takes care of things and people. He's only broken his phone before because a Villain broke it.

He stares at it. He considers apologizing immediately. He's sorry, he messed up, it was out of nowhere, forget about it.

He lies on his bed unable to move except to curl on his side. He rereads Katsuki's text, and that's the thing about text, it doesn't tell much. It spells out whatever it wants to in black and white but leaves the rest to guesswork. Why and how did Katsuki figure this was a date-ask and not a friend-ask? He considers calling him or even walking the very short distance between their apartments in pursuit of the truth.

He considers denying everything, but that would be a lie, which he doesn't want to do. He wants to meet him head on. ]

if you want it to be? doesn't it take two to decide if it is one?

[ A date. A date that people go on together. That thing called a date, which he cannot bring himself to type. The kind where people engage in romance and/or other things. He has no idea what he's doing. ]

[It was selfish, in the end, why he replied the way he did. If Izuku says no, this way, then he can play it off has his usual sarcasm. If Izuku says yes, he can just go along with it. Easier than asking Izuku out again on his own, which he was planning to do anyway, without any real chance to embarrass him.

Cowardly? Yeah. It is a little. And he does feel bad about it? To an extent. Pissed at himself for being a coward? To a higher extent than that first one. At least at first. He's seen Izuku around girls. If the other boy has any feelings for him like he's developing for Izuku, the other boy is probably suffering right now.

But this is what they do, isn't it? They challenge each other. And Katsuki knows he's going to have to take some of those painful first steps too, it's not just on Izuku. They'll take turns with this, challenge each other, and eventually they'll learn it, get better at it.]

you're right. it does take two. and I want it to be. what about you?

[ This isn't how he expected this to happen at all. For one, they're texting. And another, it's awkward as hell. Whoever thought romantic acknowledgements were supposed to be soft and sentimental with perfect lighting at a festival or something clearly never met nerds like them.

He rereads over and over because a part of him simply can't believe it. Him of all people? Izuku grew up knowing he wasn't anyone's first pick in any context. He was always dead last. Boys picked on him, so they were familiar, not a mystery, to be avoided for his own health. Girls didn't talk to him, so he had no idea how to talk to them without panicking until high school. (It ended up being like talking to any of his classmates, go figure.)

And then there is Katsuki, singular among people to Izuku, with a complicated history. What if this is a prank? Not from Katsuki himself, it's too silly, but what if someone stole Katsuki's phone? But this is indelibly the way Katsuki writes. Izuku is interested in the person he is and the person he will grow to be. He'd be remiss if he didn't recognize him.

What about him? He feels like he's going to die, that's what. He nearly types that in. Stupid Kacchan, doesn't he realize he's fighting for his life out here? ]

i thought you didn't want to. i even wondered if you were avoiding me. i thought maybe i did something wrong.

[It seems to take forever, waiting for Izuku to reply. It's the most direct Katsuki has been so far, saying that he wants it to be a date, making it about that instead of just two childhood friends hanging out together. Izuku has every reason to reject him, and Katsuki honestly wouldn't be surprised if he did, just to make things a little more even between them. Katsuki might have apologized, but he's certain that it's not so easy, that he has to prove himself worthy of friendship, let alone whatever he's asking for.

But Izuku has always been forgiving. Too forgiving. Too soft. Too good. Everything that Katsuki can't manage to make himself do. Everything that he used to think Izuku was lording over him.

When the other boy messages back that he thought Katsuki didn't want to, that he thought he was avoiding him, that he did something wrong. Katsuki huffs out a breath and then starts typing. Deletes and rewrites what he's trying to say a few times to get
it right.]

you didn't do anything wrong.

maybe I was avoiding you a little though, but it wasn't your fault for once

[ He's so relieved. Sometimes he just never knows with Katsuki, but he thinks about him all the time anyway. Izuku is figuring out how to be a good friend to him, and that's part of the journey. He has a kind heart. But—

[ And there's always a but, a bracing familiarity, a form of communication that is weird and rough and unique to them— ]

eh? what do you mean for once? you could say it to my face you know.
like on a date. with our faces. you know like
talking and stuff.

[ And stuff?? What does he mean by that, not even he knows???? Izuku puts his red face directly into his pillow. He's going to die. But he can't leave him hanging! ]

avoiding sounds like the old kacchan. i know you're not that person anymore. neither am i.
it's why i forgave you.

[ At another time, it would have been too much too soon, but Izuku is quick to forgive. He already forgave him, following his heart without really thinking about it, as he does. He's spoken of Bakugo to others, but there are things that have gone unsaid to Bakugo. His wish was to see Katsuki and himself become rivals worthy of one another, lifting each other up as friends should. He would watch him carefully as he always does, because even Izuku knows it's not so easy as just apologizing. There is softness and goodness, and then there is the core of steel that refuses to compromise those. It's part of his goodness that gives Katsuki the chance to put the work in. ]

maybe i should have said so before. i'm doing things out of order. sorry.
i'd like to go out with you.

[ This new added dimension is unexpected, and it makes him sweat so much he's going to have to change his shirt, but once again Izuku follows his heart. ]

I guess I could say it to your face, on a date.
you know, I already agreed to go, it's not like you have to keep selling it.
anyway, you never answered my question. do you want it to be a date?

[For some reason, it seems way too important that Izuku make that clear. Katsuki is not the type of person to throw himself into a situation where he knows he's going to lose, not socially or in his personal life, and he's certainly not going to confess to Izuku without having some idea what the answer is going to be.

Then the answer comes, and the warmth and jitteriness in his gut coalesces into something warmer and more fond, his cheeks feel warm, and he's annoyed with himself for being like this over someone like Izuku. Soft and gentle and good and impulsive and strong...it's waxing poetic, and Katsuki hates that it came from his own brain.]

well I wasn't avoiding you because I was pissed or anything. I'm still working on things. I just needed some space to sort my head out.

[Things have been changing - not in the outward way that Katsuki is good at adapting to, but in the internal, emotional way that feels alien and wrong to him. Katsuki has never been comfortable with that kind of change.]

don't worry. I'll tell you what's on my mind as soon as I figure it out for myself

[ Izuku feels half mortified, half something he'd call pleasant. It's a weird feeling and he doesn't know what to do with himself. It feels nice, but it also consumes him from the inside. Surely this can't be sustainable. ]

it's different if you're agreeing to a date versus not a date, so i have to make sure!! because if you were feeling like you wanted to try it, then it's important, right?
it's important to me how you feel.

[ How many times is he going to have to type "date" and feel his heart flip-flop around it like a panicking fish? Katsuki's feelings are important to him. ]

it's a date. let's just have fun today.

[ And probably get really competitive over a game for no reason. He might have been a pushover when they were little kids playing games together, but not anymore. Just thinking about the possibility of soundly defeating Katsuki today makes a suppressed smile blossom on his lips. ]

bakugo katsuki ★ ic inbox ★ etraya

voice | un: laura

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text | un: deku

text; un: dynamight

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